Jennifer Lopez said she felt like she was ‘going to die’ after split from Ben Affleck ahead of divorce

Jennifer Lopez revealed she felt like she was “going to die” and was stuck in an 18-year “loop” after breaking off her first engagement with Ben Affleck.

More than 20 years later, she ended the relationship again (this time a marriage).

Lopez filed for divorce from Affleck on Tuesday — which would have been their second wedding anniversary; however, their love story began in 2002 after they starred in the romantic-comedy flop “Gigli.”

That year, Affleck presented her with a 6.1-carat pink diamond designed by Harry Winston that was reportedly worth $2.5 million. The couple planned to marry in September 2003, but called off the wedding. They finally announced their separation in January 2004.

“I can confirm reports that Jennifer Lopez has called off her engagement to Ben Affleck. During this difficult time, we ask that you respect her privacy,” her rep said at the time.

They rekindled their romance in 2021 and tied the knot not once but twice in 2022. Lopez later spoke about her heartbreak after their first engagement ended in an interview with Apple Music 1’s Zane Lowe.

“Twenty years ago, I fell in love with the love of my life. I was working on an album and it was called ‘This Is Me… Then.’ It was all about capturing that moment in time. Now, the most amazing, incredible, unbelievable thing has happened. We’re here because I want to capture this moment in time because it’s even better than the first time,” she said in November 2022.

Lopez elaborated on the pain she felt following her breakup.

“Man, I couldn’t even perform these records. It was so painful after the breakup. When we broke up 20 years ago, it was the biggest heartbreak of my life. I literally felt like I was going to die. It put me in a spiral for the next 18 years where I couldn’t function properly,” the singer explained.

He also talked about rekindling their romance, saying, “It has the best ending that would never happen in Hollywood. It would never happen, we would never write it like that because no one would believe the ending.”

“I think now that we’re older, we realize it’s even more obvious, because [then] When we felt that way, now we know,” Lopez explained. “Now, we know. And there [are] There’s no questions and there’s no, ‘Well, let’s see how this goes.’ It’s like, ‘No, it’s me and you. That’s it. Until the end, that’s it. It’s just going to be us.'”

While Lopez often spoke about their marriage — she even produced her own documentary, “The Greatest Love Story Never Told,” a self-financed, $20 million, three-part multimedia project about his knack as a serial romantic — Affleck opted to show “a little restraint” and “not go into gossipy detail” about his second attempt at romance.

“One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is that it’s not wise to share everything with the world,” he told The Wall Street Journal in December 2021.

“I know I feel more comfortable maintaining those healthy boundaries in my life, and in a friendly and clear way, I will let you know that I do not want to talk about my personal relationships in the newspaper.”

Ultimately their love story could not survive.

Lopez filed for divorce, setting a separation date of April 26, 2024, and confirming they had not been together for approximately four months.

Breakup speculation began in May when it was revealed that Affleck and Lopez were living separately. He left his $60 million marital mansion and moved into a rented home. The “Argo” actor has since purchased a $20.5 million home and has put the property they bought together on the market.

Lopez and Affleck didn’t celebrate her 55th birthday or second wedding anniversary together in July. She was spotted at her rented home for Affleck’s 52nd birthday last week, but she danced the night away at a Bruno Mars concert without her husband.

Lopez did not clarify in the divorce documents whether or not they signed a prenuptial agreement; however, sources told TMZ that they never had one. If this is true, it would prove to be a costly mistake as she has an estimated net worth of $400 million, and Affleck landed on Forbes’ list of the highest-paid actors of 2023 with an estimated $38 million in earnings last year.